Site icon Living (and Loving) Life After 50

Dating (And Sex) After 50


Warning to the conservative, shy, and, generally speaking, people who think the subject of sex is taboo. This blog may not be one that you want to read so you can stop now.

Ok, so now that I have given a fair warning, I am going to dive into the subject that can be uncomfortable for people to talk about in public but does happen behind closed doors or through text messages or Facebook messenger or any other way that I may not be aware of.

Dating at my age is very different than when I was a teenager. Maybe not completely, because most men are still driven by the idea of getting the girl into the back seat and the women are still good at playing coy and acting as though they don’t want to. But the one difference that I have discovered is that the innocence is definitely gone. What we “talked” about or hinted at when we were kids is no longer the case but now is open, blatant, and sometimes downright crude what is shared. And this is even before you have the first date!!!!

Social media has made it easy for men and women (and truthfully young boys and girls) to discuss sex openly before even meeting in person or going out on a date. Which is why I have found it difficult to date at my age. How do you know if a man is only seeking that part of the relationship? How do you know that after the first sexual act, you will never see or hear from him again? How do you develop a healthy open communication that is built on trust, transparency, and things that you both have in common and enjoy (besides sex).

I am not writing this post because I have this all figured out. Trust me, I don’t. But I do know what I want and what I don’t want now that I have experienced dating after 50. I want a man that pursues me for who I am and not for what I can perform or do for him. I want to date a man that still believes in romantic dinners, gifts, watching movies, concerts, riding motorcycles, hiking, kayaking, exercising, or anything that doesn’t have to lead to the bedroom.

Don’t get me wrong (parents and children be warned at what I am about to say if you are still reading, lol) I love sex! Sex is awesome and truly a gift that God created to not only procreate but bring pleasure! BUT, sex is only meaningful when it is between two people who truly care about the other and are not seeking self satisfaction for the moment (or two if you are lucky.)

I have many single girlfriends now and the majority of them all want the same thing. An exclusive relationship with commitment from a man who makes you laugh, makes you feel like you’re the only woman on the planet, loves to show you off to his friends, and shares common activities that you can do together. All of that WITH great sex.

Men, if you’re reading this, wake up and smell the roses. You can have want you want (great sex) but it comes at a price. It comes with being a true gentleman, a lover and a friend. It comes with commitment, selfless giving of time, and genuine pursuit of a woman’s heart.

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